Lyrics Translation: I'm alone ~ ayaka (絢香)
I have finally done it - I went off to create a VOX group dedicated to ayaka. This will be the first post on the group and indeed, at the moment, I am its only member (no, this post on I'm alone has nothing to do with the fact that I am currently alone in this group!).
Being ever so impressed by her music, I really wanted to start something up for her and that mesmerising voice of hers (her upcoming single CLAP & LOVE/Why sounds terrific - CLAP & LOVE's raw sound is an awesome demonstration of the power of ayaka's voice). So here you have it, a VOX group dedicated purely to ayaka which I will be adding song translations to - with the aim of having her full discography to date translated before 2007 is out although I am not willing to guarantee it (things will get even busier for me soon). You can access the VOX group by clicking here, feel free to join and post about anything ayaka!
Alright, now to get back to the lyrics part of the post... I'm alone is the second song from her most recent single Jewelry day. Many of her fans didn't actually like the slow melody of Jewelry day and found I'm alone a much better track... Personally, I like I'm alone but I really love Jewelry day . It's likely that more fans related to this song because it's closer to ayaka's overall style of music (no surprise there, unlike Jewelry day, this song was co-written by ayaka).
Thus, without further ado, here is I'm alone by ayaka.
Song information:
Track 2 from ayaka's single, Jewelry day (Released 2007/07/04).
PV availability:
Being a B-side, there is no PV for this track and it is likely there won't be one ever.
Theme song:
This song is not used as a theme song to anything.
Alternative versions:
There
are no alternative versions.
Comments:
I'm alone is the more ayaka sounding track of the Jewelry day
single and the title may be a little misleading in English as the
entire song is actually in the third person voice. The lyrics
themselves are quite straightforward but it sure is one difficult song
to sing! The song itself is actually a song about living sadness (yes,
I have been translating sad songs of late...), that is, living with a
cloud over one's head. The accentuated chorus does reveal how desperate
the person in the song is. The execution of the vocals is, as is
characteristic of ayaka, spot on and there are times when there is
nothing left but to feel sorry for the poor soul. Perhaps the strongest
message in this song is on the consequences of our actions and how we
come to accept them. Weakness is also a running theme throughout the
song as his failure to express emotions is linked to his weakness in
general. Outer appearances, bottled emotions and conflicting priorities
are also themes in the song.
Lyrics:
Japanese lyrics retrieved from www.uta-net.com.
--------------------------------------
日本語:
I'm alone
--------------------------------------
歌手: 絢香
作詞: 絢香
作曲: 西尾芳彦・絢香
--------------------------------------
難しいことばかり
並べて偉そうな顔してる この男
振り向いた瞬間の横顔に 胸痛む
嫌われてんの知ってて
なんともない顔してるのは
余裕があるように見せて装ってる
ただそれだけ
I'm alone 誰だって抱えてる
Love you 愛されたい気持ち
守らなきゃいけないものがあるからそう
強がって壁作って
わけもわからないのに
頭下げてりゃ済む問題ばかりで
外の世界にいる時は 感情消して
心のバランスとるの
どんどん難しくなってきたような
最近泣いてばかりの日々 心弱ってるサイン
I'm alone 自黒の世界さ
Love you 手を差し伸べてよ
誰かの大きな手があればそれでいい
何も言わないで
苦しいなんて言えない
愛してなんて言えない
I'm alone 気づけば独りだった
Love you そうさせるこの時代
ぶつかることさえも出来ない
どうすればいい
心閉ざしては涙流す それでも
期待してんだ
-------------------------------------------------------
romaji:
I'm alone
-------------------------------------------------------
kashyu: ayaka
sakushi: ayaka
sakkyoku: nishio yoshihiko・ayaka
romaji: crystalise
-------------------------------------------------------
muzukashii koto bakari
narabete erasou na kao
shiteru kono otoko
buri nuita shunkan no yokogao
ni mune itamu
kirawareten no shittete
nanto mo nai kao shiteru no wa
yoyuu ga aru you ni misete yosotteru
tada sore dake
I’m alone dare datte kakaeteru
Love you aisaretai kimochi
mamoranakya ikenai mono ga aru kara sou
tsuyogatte kabe tsukutte
wake mo wakaranai no ni
atama sageterya sumu mondai bakari de
soto no sekai ni iru toki
wa kanjou keshite
kokoro no baransu toru no
dondon muzukashiku natte kita
you na
saikin naite bakari no
hibi kokoro yowatteru sain
I’m alone shigoku no sekai sa
Love you te wo sashi nobete yo
dareka no ookina te ga areba
sore de ii
nani mo iwanai de
kurushii nante ienai
aishite nante ienai
I’m alone kidzukeba hitori datta
Love you sou saseru kono jidai
butsukaru koto sae mo dekinai
dou sureba ii
kokoro tozashite wa namida
nagasu sore demo
kitai shitenda
-------------------------------------------------------
English:
I'm alone
-------------------------------------------------------
Performed by: ayaka
Lyricist: ayaka
Composer: Yoshihiko Nishio & ayaka
Translated by: crystalise
-------------------------------------------------------
This one’s quite the
complicated affair.
He may put up an arrogant
front – this fella,
But the instant he turns
around, it’s all heartache.
He knows of his unpopularity
with people,
But he puts on a face that
shows he could care less about it and
Gives off the appearance that
he can afford his unpopularity.
That’s all there is to him.
But deep inside, he cries…*
I’m alone, I just want to be
held… it doesn’t matter by who.
How I love you, there are
these feelings of wanting to be loved.
But because there are things I
cannot forsake,
I must put on a strong mask to
the face of the world.
The reason behind this mess
seems to always elude him
As he ponders this perplexing
matter.**
To the outside world though,
he is an emotional void.***
Trying to maintain the balance
in his heart
Is quickly becoming more and
more difficult and
These few days soaked with
only tears are signs of a weakening heart that cries…
I’m alone in this world of
inherent darkness…
How I love you, my hands are
already reaching out!
There were hands large enough
to fit my own, they were enough for me.
Still, I stayed silent.
Mute on agony...
Mute on affection...
When I have realised it, I was
already alone.
How I love you... to only see
that now...
There is no real chance that our
paths may cross again.
I resign myself with what is
left to do.
Tears flow as I close off my
heart… Even so,
I held on to some hope.
Notes:
*Note 1:
The lyrics say nothing about him screaming or the like… it ends simply at
“That’s all there is to it for him.” However, it is important to know that the
song is not about ayaka herself, but rather it is completely a third-person’s
narrative about this man. The reason why there is a need to add the line about
him crying is brought on by the English requirement for subjects in sentences
whereas there is no such necessity in Japanese. In much Japanese communication,
subjects are omitted because they tend to be implied – which makes for some
hilarious moments in comedy (^__^).
**Note 2:
Literally, “It’s a problem that has one putting their head down”.
***Note 3:
Literally, “When he is in the outside world, he erases his feelings.”
Links:
ayaka Official Website (maintained by Warner Music Japan)
Purchase Jewelry day online (via YesAsia Global)
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Comments
I think it's interesting that she chose to sing it in 3rd person and have it be in a male's point of view because in a way, having it told as a story still distances you from the person. As if he is some far away person and someone is just telling you about him and thus you can never really get to know him and truly understand him - highlighting the theme of loniless. You said in your analysis that an interesting point is how we deal with the consequences that our actions have and yet it seems that,well from the translation, this man is actually suffering from the lack of action because he is unable to share his emotions with others? Hm, I've always felt that what defines someone's life is their relationship with others. I mean, if you ever go to a funeral people will say "She was a wonderful mother, or he was a great son," or "They were carying, giving, etc." Those are all attributes that contribute positively to a relationship. And when we are first born, a child is viewed (at least in the western world, i believe) as a daughter/son to the mother/father. Thus, if he's "unpopular" and unable to make relationships (I am alone), then his life becomes meaningless? I don't know. Trying to grasp the meaning of the song because there are weird lines where it seems like there is something he wants to do yet I don't understand what that could be. For example, "Trying to maintain the balance in his heart..." Why? I mean, what is he trying to balance if he already knows that he can't show emotion? Hm...And when she sings in first person during the chorus, is that in the guy's perspective?
As you have noted, the chorus is ayaka assuming the position of the man and using the first person voice as the man (I guess I should have made that clearer, LOL). The chorus gives off a sense of desperation and also provides the inside story behind the man.
The stanzas in the song seem like observations of the man, but in the chorus, the narrative changes and you are given the opportunity to peek inside his mind.
It is then that one realises that this man is really a product of his past - the sting of choruses offer some light into the reason why this man is what he is. He wallows in his past regrets and, being unable to move on, ends up closing off his emotions and putting on an entire facade.
Of course, there is also the issue of conflicting priorities - although he wants to simply let go and be more human, there is something that he cannot give up. Perhaps it's his pride, his past, his beliefs or something of similar importance - but it is because he cannot compromise that he has to act tough and put on a mask.
There is a lot of conflict within the song and how the man is in conflict with himself. The line that goes, "mute on agony, mute on affection" highlights his internal emotional conflict - he does feel these feelings of pain and love, but he won't tell anyone about it. This is ultimately what makes him seem unemotional to others when, in fact, the opposite is true.
Yes, that is more understandable now. Hm, I've always loved the theme of having 2 lives, or so to speak. I guess because I also think that a lot of people are different than what they portray themselves to be. Thanks for the great analysis once again!
I have a question regarding the word "irarenai" and "iranai" in Utada Hikaru's Eternally. Have you ever listened to it? I love the song. My favorite. But my question is, what's the difference between to the two words?
The difference between the two is how they are conjugated. "iranai" is the simple negative form of "iru" while "irarenai" is the negative causative passive form of "iru". The problem is that there is a lot of "iru" in Japanese and they all mean different things (they use different kanji or kana to associate them and context to differentiate them)!
Very often the following are safe guidelines to follow:
Remember that the simple negative form of "iru" (to exist; to be) is simply "nai". So, "iranai" can be any of the other "iru" but not the "iru" for existence and being. (I hope that makes sense!)
I absolutely love Eternally as well - such a beautiful song. Another one that I really like is Final Distance... the history behind that song is so sad... She re-arranged the song Distance in remembrance of one of her fans that was murdered. It's simply heartbreaking to listen to it, knowing the reason for it. It was as if Hikki was in deep regret - ahh... this is too much pain for me to handle! (0___o)
Wow! Thank you so much! Sorry I didn't reply yesterday. Hm, I feel enlightened! Really thank you very much for that useful information. I've asked many people who just took the Japanese class and they couldn't tell me. I feel was able to ask a native speaker - whether you consider yourself one or not ;).
Yeah, I've heard the story about the Distance song and I feel that Final Distance is much better than Distance. I absolutely love the song too. I feel that Eternally is my favorite song out of all of them. I love her emotion and I was translating the song by hand and I couldn't get some of the words because either it wasn't in the dictionary or people couldn't tell me. But you've completed my translation! Honto ni Thanks!!!
As always, you flatter me! Thanks for leaving comments as always! (^__^") LOL, I'm glad I could be of some help! (by the way, the other popular "iru" (入る) is "to enter", keep that in mind because it can also be formed into "iranai" and "irarenai"! (^__^))
If you ever need any help, feel free to ask! I'm glad your translation is complete! Ah, that also reminds me, another reason why Japanese is hard: dialects - Assuming you were from Osaka like Ai-chin you'd speak in Kansai-ben, so then you would say "honma ni" instead of "honto ni"! LOL (^__-)
Eeehhh. It is a difficult language, huh? I hate exceptions in languages. But I am barely at the point where I know the standard. Damn this. I should just take a stupid class but I heard the teacher at school is a well...not so good one. Thanks for the exception though! I am not too thrilled with the quadruple meaning of "Iru".
Anyway, if you have any questions about the Tagalog language (Filipino) please feel free to ask. Even though I highly doubt there are because I have never been asked a question about the language before. But always here to offer help. Oh, and a little bit of Spanish.
How many languages do you know anyway, Crystalise? Please tell me it's less than 10...-_-.
What song are you going to translate next?
To tell you the truth, that was all I started out with. I self-taught myself katakana and hiragana but didn't understand the grammar rules. I bought grammar books and quick lesson guides, but they didn't help much. In the end, I got professional instruction for 8 months in my university by a wonderful sensei - Aoki-sensei was her name.
Though the 8 months were short and the lessons were basic, it taught me enough to understand the grammar rules. I've been self-teaching myself since (my friends help me a lot as well, of course! LOL). So yea, I think you can definitely master the language with the amount of effort you are putting into it.
I think that some professional instruction will help (doesn't matter how bad the teacher is, because as long as he/she follows the textbook - you can begin to pick up the grammar rules which is the most important part). Once you get it, you can expand on the knowledge and if you need any help, you can ask your friends or sensei - or me, although I can't guarantee I will have an answer! LOL
I do have a question on tagalog actually - is there no "F" in the language? Or are the "F" read as "P" in the language? Because all my Filipino friends can't pronounce their Fs!!! I didn't want to ask them in case they get upset with me, but I really want to know why they can't pronounce "F". Every time they say "pried pood", it makes me giggle... and I feel bad for it, but I was curious.
From what you are saying, I think I know about the same number of languages as you (if you don't count different dialects!) LOL.
This may make you less thrilled but "iru" actually has six meanings if I remember correctly, LOL (入る - to enter; 居る - to exist; 要る - to need; 鋳る - to cast (as in to set into a form); 射る - to shoot; 煎る/炒る - to fry). It may seem daunting at first but once you get the hang of it, it's not that bad (and there are always dictionaries to help you). Standard Japanese is known throughout Japan and almost all media use it, so don't worry - knowing standard is enough. Standard Japanese is really Tokyo dialect, just so you know.
Personally, I think you have the heart and the motivation. I am sure that if you give yourself a year, you will be pretty damn good at it with all that determination! It may seem crazy at first (almost like information overload), but trust me - it only gets easier, not harder. Japanese has less exceptions than English, in my opinion. Certainly, above all things, believe in yourself. (^__^)
The next song that will be posted is, in fact, going to be published very soon in a post. (But if you look at my audio files, you will know what it is... LOL... I only upload songs I publish translations for... usually I upload a bunch and that is my "coming translation" until that batch is complete - look out for Hikki's Kiss&Cry soon, it will be in the next batch!) (^__^)v
That's actually really great to hear! Thanks, because I was feeling a little bit hesistant for a bit there but lately I've been learning a lot of words. I am so taking my time with this and hopefully later I will get real lessons. I am learning a little bit from Pimsleur but to tell you the truth, even I know some of there stuff isn't 100% accurate. I've also noticed that sometimes it contradicts what I know about Japanese culture. And I've also realized that they are actually helping me hit on guys/girls -_-. Lol!
Wow, I admire you though! I mean, seriously. It's really motivational so thanks a lot! What made you want to learn? Personally, my goal is just to get through a whole drama episode without subtitles. That would be my dream! Haha. That and understand the songs.
Thanks for the "iru" thing. I guess it's not THAT hard...being positive here. And hopefully you are right, about it getting easier. I haven't learned katakana yet but I can read hiragana. It's just that I am slow and I obviously have no idea what the heck I am saying or if I am saying it right.
Regarding what you were asking about Filipino's and "F"s. Lol, yeah, they dont have 'F' in the alphabet. I was trying to think of a single "F" word but I couldn't. Yeah, most Filipinos can't really pronounce their Fs. They pronounce "feelings" as "peelings". And I got so confused listening to love songs because they actually have a word "piling" in tagalog. It means like "your side" like "soba ni". But I always thought they were trying to sing the english word "Feeling" so it would never make sense to me until I finally asked my mom! I felt really stupid. -_-. Hahaha.
Lol, anyway, many thanks for the great advice and motivation. It really is helpful to know someone actually taught themselves. What was your first language anyway?
Actually, I have a question. What does "koto bakari" mean? I keep hearing it and the dictionary doesn't really help me because each other means like 500 different things and yeah...
Thanks!
Perhaps Pimsleur's notes are for traditionalists, but in current times, it's important to be flexible with our understanding of things. (^__^) Speaking of hitting on guys/girls - I heard a good way to learn a language is to, well, pick up a bf/gf from who is from the country! LOL (not the most recommended way of learning though!!)
I'm nothing special but thank you for your nice comments. If I can do it, I am sure you can too! (Beginning to sound like "Yan Can Cook"...(-__-")) Just keep at it and don't be intimidated. (^__^)
Thanks for clarifying the Filipino dilemma I've been having by the way! That explains everything!! LOL.... Peeling better now!!
As for your question on "koto bakari" - let me first explain the easy one, "bakari". In general, it reflects the concept of "only", "just" or "merely". In this way, "muzukashii koto bakari" can literally be translated to "it's only a complicated thing"...
"koto" is a little more difficult to explain, but as you understand more Japanese you will begin to understand the concept more. Simply put, "koto" indicates an "abstract and intangible thing" (like an idea or feeling).
To try to make more sense of it, there is "mono" - this is used to mean things that are tangible. So that's why "tabemono" means "food" - "tabe" is "eat" and "mono" is "tangible thing", so "things you eat" would be direct translation. For another example, "nomimono" means "drinks" - "nomi" is "drink", so "things you drink"...
With "koto", it usually tags on to intangible things - "muzukashii koto" would be "difficult/complicated thing". Watching drama, you will come across lines like "Maki-chan no koto ga suki". In this example, "koto" would mean "the intangible things (idea and feelings) of Maki-chan". Usually and more appropriately, this is translated to "I like/love you" or something along those lines in subtitles. Literally though, it can be translated as "I like/love the concept (thoughts, ideas, feelings) of Maki-chan". If you were to replace "koto" with "mono" then it would mean "I like the things that Maki-chan has"! LOL...
I hope that helps to explain some things! Happy learning! (^___^)
WOW!!! I feel like I understand Japanese a lot more now - lol, even though I probably don't -_-. I just watched two episodes and I noticed "koto" so many times and even though I had no idea what they were saying (hence the subtitles) all I could think of was "hmm, that's got to do with something intangible..:D" lol, in other words, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
You have to watch HanaKimi because it just got really good. In a way, I wish I didn't start until now or at the end of the drama because at the end of each episode is...killer. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!! I absolutely love Oguri Shun...........sigh...........but the language barrier, you know? Lol, jp jp. But you woud love it. Also, about First Kiss, I think it's getting better. I just finished watching episode 6 and I was somewhat happy but yeah. I am so dying for next week -_-.
Lol, I should do that. Get a Japanese boyfriend for the language advantages! ;) "Oguri Shun no koto ga SUKIIIIIII..." I think you are right though about the grammatical rules but I think that's with a lot of languages. For the longest time, I have been trying to catch a pattern in Japanese sentences and maybe it's because I don't have any kind of formal knowledge to base it on but I can't find one! Like, it seems to confusing to me but...soon, soon! With the Pimsleur thing, it isn't that bad. It's just that there a things that they don't explain and I think they try to mix it with the western culture too much. I mean, I know for a fact that Japanese don't really entertain at their homes. It isn't really like them to say things like "why don't we drink at my place?". I know in the western culture that this is very very common. In fact, when my friends and I go out too often, all we can think about is how much it is costing us and "let's just go to someone's house next time!". So, I feel a little....annoyed, I guess, when they teach you things like "at my place" when it isn't really appropriate. At least I don't think it is.
Thank you again very much for your wonderful help. Truly Truly Truly...it's indispensable! :D
Ooh!! I love it when a drama keeps you hooked with cliffhangers (that's also probably an advantage of downloading the whole season THEN watching it - LOL... one of the reasons why I end up having backlogs of drama!)
I know you already have a lot of drama in your hands, but I watched a little bit of Yamada Tarou monogatari with my gf and it's hilarious!! The subtitles are up to date too, I think...
LOL, yea - keep practicing those words and add in all that drama of the dramas and I am sure you will net yourself an awesome Japanese tutor (*ahem* I mean boyfriend...)
I guess Pimsleur is trying to draw a balance... The Japanese do entertain at home depending on the occasion but rarely on the scale that Westerners do it. It's an interesting observation and indeed there is a difference although I really never thought about that until you mentioned it! hehe...
As always, you are too kind! I am glad it helps though! Later!